


OverWatch Messenger

by orphan_account



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game), Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Crossover, Occasional swearing, On Hiatus, Unfinished, but that's about as "mature" as it gets, occasional strong language, sometimes i say FUCK, what do i even tag that as
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 07:19:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9808961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Saeran bit off more than he can chew when he remotely downloaded the RFA messenger app into Hana "D.Va" Song's phone. Now the members of Overwatch are taking it upon themselves to help plan the party. Kind of annoyed that in the original game that if you find out about Mint Eye then you don't get to go to the party, so they're gonna do BOTH!! Mint Eye is soooooo busted~~!! 11 chapters for 11 days.





	1. Day 1

It’s a quiet period in the OverWatch headquarters, with many team members having gone on vacation, so no one is expecting to see the well-placed energy bolt, which obliterates a target that a very exasperated McCree was just about to take a shot at, announcing the arrival of a certain lithe, pink-clad figure with long brown hair, but sentiments of gladness and welcome immediately pour forth, as soon as a worried Dr. Ziegler has established that she has not cut short her holiday because of some misfortune or other (“Your leave application indicated you were going to be away for two weeks! I just want to make sure everything’s alright with you, honey.”) Once the chatter has died down, Lucio, having finally peeled himself off the wall he ran into after D.Va sidestepped his attempt at a hug, asks, “Well then, not that I’m not happy to see you, but why’re you back so soon then?”

 

A phone in a pink, bunny-eared case soars past Lucio’s face, almost taking his nose off before he catches it neatly one-handed. “I need help getting rid of this weird app.” D.Va lets out a sigh that sounds like it has been marinating for months. “It installed itself onto my phone and I can’t seem to get rid of it through the normal ways.”

 

McCree lights a cigarette, then fake-surreptitiously snuffs it out when he notices Dr. Ziegler giving him the side-eye. “Cain’t you do it yerself? Three-time world champion on that video-gamin’ thing, you should be good at this technology stuff, ainnit?”

 

Lucio snickers without taking his eyes off the phone screen at which he is tapping away, and Tracer indignantly makes as if to take step forward, offended protestations about D.Va’s reputation being built on actual _skill_ , not hacking, thank you very much ready to rush out of her half-opened mouth, but D.Va stops her with a raised hand. “I got this.” She and the gunslinger have a friendly little rivalry going on, and video games is not the only thing she excels at. McCree smirks at her until she pokes a finger straight into his broad chest. “Well, McDonalds, you can drive a car, can’t you, but can you take it apart and put it back together again?”

 

Once the laughter has faded, Lucio catches D.Va’s eye and gives her a sheepish shrug. “It’s - it’s a bit different from the stuff I’ve seen before, I might need some time to do research and all that.” D.Va lets out a resigned sigh. “Well, thank you for trying, anyway.” Lucio makes his way over to her to hand the phone over, but withdraws his hand at the last second. His brows knit in concern, an uncharacteristic expression for the hedonistic musician. “Is - I trust you, Dee, but - is it a security concern? You might want to get another phone while you’re here...”

 

D.Va shakes her head. “Nah, just a bunch of civs who keep trying to flirt with me. They want me to help them organise a party or something.”

 

“I’m sorry, they - they what?” Lucio sputters, as he vainly attempts to choke back a laugh. Catching Tracer’s raised eyebrow,  he hastily attempts to backtrack. “I - I mean, not that I don’t think you’re attractive, but I’m not interested in you, _that is_ , uh, I mean, I’m really glad we’re friends, and I believe that people would want to flirt with you, but uh - “ McCree smirks at the flailing Lucio, while Dr. Ziegler simply tilts her head quizzically at the girl of the moment.

 

D.Va verily believes she’s sighed so much today that she has personally contributed to 3% of the day’s global carbon dioxide emissions. “Well, it’s a long story…”

 

~~~

 

_It’s 1900hrs on the eve of Seollal, and D.Va is running late to reunion dinner. So are millions of South Koreans, so it’s impossible to get a cab at this time, even if you are the world StarCraft champion. She knows she probably shouldn’t have stopped for the impromptu autograph session at the airport, but she is a friendly girl and she doesn’t like to disappoint her fans. Oh well, what’s done is done. On her last trip home she discovered a shortcut through Myeong-daero Street. She can make it home in 20 minutes if she runs._

 

 _She’s in the middle of daydreaming about her grandmother’s_ tteokguk _when she hears it. “Help, someone, help me!” Two blocks ahead, that small apartment building on the left. A stray breeze ruffles the curtains, and for a moment she thinks she sees a frantically waving figure at the window of the 7th floor._

 

_…_

 

_Heck, she’s already late, a few more minutes won’t matter. She is the apple of her parents’ eyes, and she knows they won’t scrutinise her excuse too closely as long as she turns up safe. She’ll just chalk it up to bad traffic. Off duty or no, D.Va is not the kind of person to turn a deaf ear unto a cry for help. She draws her Light Gun -_

 

~~~

 

“Hold up a second!” McCree gesticulates wildly when he gets excited, and everyone ducks in order to avoid being clobbered. “You cain’t just go chargin’ into Gawd knows wha’ kinda danger! You coulda gotten hurt, you coulda gotten kidnapped, you coulda - oh, what the hell?!?!”

 

D.Va can’t help grinning. “Are you actually worrying about me, McDonalds? I am a _soldier_ , I’ve covered your sorry ass on the battlefield more times than I can count on my fingers.”

 

“That’s different!” blusters the gunslinger. “You’ve got your MEKA then!!”

 

D.Va shrugs. “I had my gun.”

 

“You’re nineteen!”

 

D.Va’s eyes widen in incredulity. “Says the guy who joined BlackWatch at _seventeen_.”

 

“Yeah, but I was in a gang for several years before that!”

 

There is a pointed silence.

 

“Anyway, love, please continue,” nods Tracer, after the moment to acknowledge that McCree had just made D.Va’s argument for her has passed.

 

~~~

 

_She charges up the last flight of stairs, panting heavily. Damn these old apartments that refuse to have elevators installed! And the strange thing is that the people more likely to be living in these old apartments would be the elderly, who are the very people who would have trouble navigating stairs. Where was the logic in that?_

 

_But there is no time for that now. There is a civ in trouble. There is a civ who needs her help._

 

_There is only one apartment on this floor, and D.Va kicks the door down before it gives way too easily and she realises it was never locked in the first place. Oops. Hopefully the owner of this place will not be too angry once they hear her explanation._

 

_….If she can find them. The place is devoid of life._

 

_More than devoid of life. D.Va moves through the apartment swiftly, cautiously, calling out for the person who had been calling for help. “Hello? Is anyone there? Someone said ‘help me’ just now, are you there?” A thin film of dust over the plastic-covered furnishings indicate that no one has been here in a while, months probably. There is no sign of the person at the window._

 

_She makes one round around the house, and satisfies herself that it is truly and completely empty. Perhaps it was all just her imagination. She winces. Unfortunately for her, that means she now has to consider the issue of the door. Snatching up a piece of paper and a pen from the writing desk, she hurriedly scribbles a note._

 

_“To the owner of this house,_

 

 _I’m sorry about your door. I thought I heard someone calling for help from inside and broke it down but it turns out there was no one there. If you would kindly contact me at_ [ _hana.song@xmail.com_ ](mailto:hana.song@xmail.com) _,_ _I will pay you for the repairs.”_

 

_She finds some sticky tape in a drawer and tapes the note to the monitor of the desktop computer she finds in the sitting room. She turns to leave, but just then her phone emits a series of loud beeps._

 

_It’s probably her family, worrying about her. She’d best set their minds at ease before travelling on._

 

_Except it isn’t. An unfamiliar icon blinks at her as soon as she unlocks her phone. “RFA...?” What does that mean, “RFA”? As she stares at the screen, the phone continues buzzing, and the notifications stack up. 50 messages, 51 messages, 52 messages…._

 

_Whatever. She’ll deal with it after reunion dinner._

 

_~~~_

 

_It’s nearly 2am before Hana finally drags herself into her bedroom. She’s pleased to be home, of course, but she can only stand so many hours of rowdiness and merrymaking before feeling the need to be alone. She knows she got off easy. Her family’s festivities are already considered one of the shorter ones. She can still hear the neighbours’ roaring laughter and cheers._

 

_In the darkness, a small circular light glows faintly. Hana blinks. Right, the “RFA”. Well, she might as well fiddle around with it for a while before she turns in for the night. She grabs at the glowing dot, and with a practised movement, unlocks the phone. The screen comes to life._

 

_~~~_

 

“347 messages?!” Lucio whistles in impressed disbelief. “Did you read through the whole thing?”

 

D.Va shakes her head. “Didn’t need to. Apparently, they were still online.”

 

~~~

 

**Yoosung:**

| 

She only appeared for a few seconds then disappeared for hours without a word. Seven, maybe it’s just a bug after all.  
  
---|---  
  
**707:**

| 

There’s no way there’s a bug in my programme! I’m a professional! I’m telling you, she’s real!  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Why are you so sure that it is female. Perhaps it is a man posing as a woman to ensnare desperate lonely men like Zen and trick them into giving them all their money. I have heard of scams like these.  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

Oi, I don’t wanna hear that from someone whose only companion is a silly furball.  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Her name is Elizabeth 3rd. And she is not silly. Her grace and beauty are unrivalled in this universe. Every morning, she rubs herself against my legs before I leave for work. I can see the longing in her ey-  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

OHMYGOD CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT THE FURBALL.  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Do not call Elizabeth 3rd a furball. Also, you are the one who brought her up in the first place.  
  
**Yoosung:**

| 

I hate to interrupt, but shouldn’t we get back to the matter at hand? The intruder?  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

We’ve been talking about it for hours now and are no closer to reaching a conclusion. I think we should just leave it to Seven to decide whether or not V should be informed.  
  
~Hana has entered the chatroom~  
  
**707:**

| 

BEEP BEEP BEEP!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND ESPECIALLY YOOSUNG THE SKEPTIC, BEHOLD PROOF THAT GOD SEVEN WAS RIGHT!! SHE IS REAL!! THE INTRUDER IS BACK!!!  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Who the hell are you calling intruder. Your stupid app intruded its way onto my phone.  
  
**Yoosung:**

| 

OJH MNY GOCD ITS SPEACKSD  
  
**707:**

| 

Lol, Yoosung, typo  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

So it’s definitely a girl then?!??!  
  
**707:**

| 

Of course it’s a girl. Here, I’ve got a picture <attachment.jpg>  
  
**Yoosung:**

| 

Oh my god, Seven, where did you get that photo?!?!  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

Ehhh?? Don’t you have a better picture? Can’t really see her eyes under those sunglasses.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

THAT is a picture of ME. And she is still here. We must not get distracted.  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Assistant Kang is right. Username Hana, state your full name and purpose for being here. Failure to comply will be punished.  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

The hell?!?! Jumin, you can’t talk to a girl like that!! She might get scared!  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

That’s sexist. Also, she should be scared. A stranger has no business being in our chatroom.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

It is sexist, and I’m not scared. You tell me first who you all are and what this thing is. YOUR app has no business on MY phone.  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

…. Fierce  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

Okay, I think everyone should calm down and have a civil discussion about this. It seems that username Hana did not enter this chatroom with hostile intentions, so a belligerent interrogation will do us no good.  
  
**707:**

| 

Jaehee’s right. Well, Hana, simply put, we’re members of a charitable organisation. This chatroom is where we conduct our business.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Doesn’t sound like any charity I’ve ever heard of.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

….That is, we used to be, until our founding member…..departed, and then our organisation became defunct. Now we just use this chatroom to catch up with each other.  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

As to who we are, I’m ZEN, of “The Jalapenos Are Super Spicy” fame. You may have seen me on TV. You can call me ‘honey’ ;)  
  
**707:**

| 

Lol Zen. I’m 707! You’ll definitely not have heard of me, because if you have, then I wouldn’t be very good at my job.  
  
**Yoosung:**

| 

Uh, I’m Yoosung! I’m a college student. It’s good to meet you!  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

….Are you all really going to introduce yourselves? Do none of you stop to think about how our safety could be compromised?  
  
**707:**

| 

The stick in the mud is Jumin Han, heir to C&R International. And the other one is his beleaguered Chief Assistant, Jaehee Kang.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

….so your name is a secret, but ours isn’t?  
  
**707:**

| 

Your username is your real name, you know. Well, Hana? How about it? Are you satisfied that we do not pose any danger to you?  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Don’t be ridiculous, there’s no way you could pose a danger to me if you tried. But fair’s fair. My name is Hana Song, but online I’m better known as D.Va. Purpose for being here, well, I didn’t really -  
  
**707:**

| 

OMGOMGOMGOMG D.VA?!?! THE D.VA!??!!! THREE TIME STARCRAFT WORLD CHAMPION!??!! THE LEGENDARY PLAYER WHO BEAT LOLOL’S MOST POWERFUL BOSS AND CRASHED THEIR SERVER?!??!! HERO OF THE KOREAN MILITARY?!?!??!! YOU’RE ACTUALLY HER?!??!?!!!  
  
**Yoosung:**

| 

HHHOOIOOOOOLLEEEYYYYT SDHIIIIIIIYYTTTTTTTT  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

Wow, pretty and feisty. You’re totally my type xoxo  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

Oh my goodness. Hana-nim, please forgive our rudeness. We meant no disrespect. We are just cautious, and perhaps we took it a little too far...  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

...who?  
  
 

~~~

 

“Et cetera et cetera.” D.Va snaps her fingers. “You get the idea.” She turns to Lucio. “So how long do you think you’ll need to fix it? I mean, I do have enough money to get a new phone, but it’s out of production at the moment and I got a custom case for it, so it’ll be such a pain to replace.  Also, it seems a bit of a waste when I could be spending the money on chips and soda.”

 

“But what about the party?” cries Lucio, eyes bulging with excitement, nearly falling out of his chair, so riveted is he with the story. Behind him, McCree wistfully prods his midsection and mumbles something that D.Va thinks might be “how does she eat all kinds of crap and still look like _that_?!” D.Va considers ribbing the gunslinger for a second, but Lucio is impossible to ignore. “You haven’t told us about the party! The one you said they want you to help organise?”

 

D.Va shrugs. “There’s no way that’s happening, you know, but if you really want to know…”

 

~~~

 

**707:**

| 

But just think about it! She’s an international celebrity! If she fills Rika’s role, the number of people we could get to come would be simply UNREAL!!!  
  
---|---  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

I do not like this. She could be lying. It could be a trap. I say we should ask V before deciding whether or not to let her join.  
  
**Yoosung:**

| 

OMG, how can you still trust V to make decisions about the RFA when he hasn’t been in contact with any of us for over a year already?!?! Does he even care about the RFA anymore??  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

Dude, Yoosung, chill. No matter what, V and Rika founded this association, and V is still our leader. We should follow his decisions.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

I think that, before we decide whether to let her join or not, we should first ascertain her opinion on this arrangement.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Thank you, at least someone in this chatroom has manners. The answer is no. You seem nice, but I don’t have time to join your little club. Now please tell me how to get rid of this app.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

Ah. Hana-nim, I’m afraid you misunderstand. When I said we would ascertain your opinion, I did not mean to imply that you had a choice in the matter. I simply needed to determine if you would join us willingly or if coercion was required. I am deeply sorry about this, but you must understand that our organisation deals with ‘classified’ material, so now that you are in our chatroom, we cannot allow you to leave so easily.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Bitch please, YOU don’t get to lecture ME about classified material! I work for the Korean Army AND OverWatch!! If anything, I should be upset that YOUR app is on MY phone!! How do I know you’re not trying to steal military secrets?!  
  
**707:**

| 

And it was going so well….  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Assistant Kang, perhaps you should let me do the talking. After all, I possess the tact necessary to handle a delicate situation such as this.  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

YOU?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH!! WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT TALKING TO A CUTE GIRL, MR JUMIN “I’M-NOT-GAY-WOMEN-JUST-MAKE-ME-SICK” HAN?! You should let me talk to her xoxoxo  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Zen, such childish antics only serve to embarrass you in front of Ms Hana. Ms Hana, I apologise on behalf of Assistant Kang if she has offended you -  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Damn straight!!  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

She simply has the best interests of our organisation at heart, so please do not take her words to heart. What she really means to say is, since we find ourselves more familiar with each other rather more quickly than we would like, it would be best if both parties could proceed henceforth on a mutually cordial relationship. This way, it will minimise the paranoia and inconvenience both parties have to suffer. How about it, Ms Hana?  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

...  
  
**707:**

| 

<3 <3 <3 OMG I THINK I’M IN LOVE <3 <3 <3 MR CHAIRMAN, PLS TEACH ME HOW THY WORDS FALLETH SO SWEETLY AND MASTERFULLY FROM THY MOUTH <3 <3 <3  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Uhhhh whatever, man. Can’t seem to delete this thing anyway, or I would have. But I’m just telling you, if you guys have meetings and stuff, I ain’t got time to attend. I barely even get to see Korea three times a year, and usually it’s because that damn Omnic monstrosity came out of the sea again.  
  
**707:**

| 

Oh don’t worry about that! We conduct all our business through this app. Besides the chatroom, you can call or private message us, as well as reply to emails. As long as you have internet access you can do everything through the app.  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Does that mean you’ll join us?  
  
**Hana:**

| 

…..wait, emails?? You hacked my email address as well??!  
  
**707:**

| 

Ya. I have accessed all your drunk booty pics to your ex.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

WHAT?!!?!?! YOU BASTARD, DON’T THINK I DON’T HAVE FRIENDS IN OVERWATCH WHO CAN FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE!!! WHEN I GET AHOLD OF YOU -  
  
**707:**

| 

AaaAAaauuUUhhh so scary T__T pls dun kill me. I’m kidding, I’m kidding. The app gives you access to the organisation email. When we have parties, we’ll get emails from the prospective guests in the app, then we reply through the app. Or Rika did, anyway. The rest of us technically have access, but we work on other parts of the party mostly. That’s all >_<  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Rika’s the one who left, is she?  
  
**707:**

| 

Yup. She knew how to sweet-talk the guests into coming.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Even more than Mr Chairman?  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

HAHAHAHA!!! You’re such a cutie, you know that?  
  
**Hana:**

| 

….so if I join, that’s what I’ll be doing? Telling people to come to your party.  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

It will be your party as well, if you join.  
  
**707:**

| 

Sometimes the guests can get quite weird, but yeah, pretty much. Pwwweeaaaaase join us?? Pwetty pwease with a cherry on top??? *_*  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Yeah, fine, whatever. Don’t blame me if I reply slow. I got OverWatch things to do.  
  
**707:**

| 

HOORAY!!!  
  
 

~~~

 

“...but I just said that to keep them off my back. Anyway, that was 3 days ago and all that’s happened since then is that my phone has been blowing up with notifications because they keep trying to flirt with me!” D.Va finishes angrily, waving her phone in the air for emphasis. “Especially the one called ZEN. Insufferable, I tell you.” She folds her arms. “So. You heard about the party. When do you think you can get this off my phone?”

 

D.Va turns to Lucio only to find that he has fixed her with his patent appealing puppy dog gaze. “But D.Va, a paaaarrtyyyy!!! Just think about how much fun that’ll be!!”

 

D.Va can’t believe her ears. “Are you nuts?! Did you not hear anything I just said? I said I only agreed to keep them off my back! Since my vacation I’ve been a week behind on training already and Winston just installed several new upgrades to my MEKA, I’ve got so much to catch up on, I don’t have time to get involved in some civs’ lame party!”

 

Lucio is undeterred. “But D.Va, you can’t be all work and no play! You need to have FUN! Besides,” Lucio rocks on the balls of his feet, he can barely contain his excitement. “Since you’re in charge of the guests, you can invite ALL OF US to the party!! IT’LL BE AWESOME!!” Lucio punches the air and drops into an air-guitar pose. “OVERWATCH IN THE HOUSE, Y’ALL!!”

 

D.Va opens her mouth to protest, but Mercy beats her to the punch. “Do you know, Ms Song, I actually believe Mr dos Santos might be right.” She smiles gently at the gamer girl amidst the open-mouthed stares of her colleagues. “Overwatch and the world appreciate your dedication, Ms Song, but this is still an unfair burden to ask a 19 year old to bear. At your age, you should be socialising, having fun - ” Mercy fixes D.Va with  a kind but pointed gaze “ - making new friends.” She turns to McCree and affectionately squeezes the still-gaping gunslinger’s hand in both of hers. “And whom of the old guard do not sorely miss the festivities of Overwatch past?” She directs her attention back to a stunned D.Va. “I agree with Mr dos Santos - we could all use a party.”

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Dr Ziegler actually agreed with one of Lucio’s crazy ideas, the world must be ending. D.Va looks at McCree, her last hope of support, but one look at his shit-eating grin and D.Va knows that she has undeniably lost this round. “Hey, don’t look at me, Dr Ziegler didn’t join Blackwatch at seventeen.”

 

Losing is an unfamiliar feeling for D.Va, and she doesn’t like it. Still, how can she get upset when these are her more-than-friends, her battle partners, who’ve fought alongside her through thick and thin. “Fine.” She throws up her hands in a gesture of of defeat. “But I have one condition.” She fixes each and every member of her captive audience with a steely glare. “Whoever wants to come to the party is gonna help me organise it.” Then she relaxes, claps her phone into Lucio’s hand and sighs for what she hopes will be the last time today. “I’m going to need a spare phone in the meantime.”

 

A loud cheer arises from the assembled members of OverWatch. It is hardly an exaggeration to say that Lucio’s grin splits his face from ear to ear. “You got it, boss!” he hoots, grabbing the phone and doing a victory lap around the canteen as if he’s just scored the winning goal in the 2074 World Cup finals.

 

~~~

 

Somewhere, in a penthouse at the top of an imposing building with the initials “C&R” emblazoned on it, a man in a dark suit stroking a white cat feels a chill run up his spine.


	2. Day 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first I wanted to make it so that Lucio managed to download the app onto everyone else's phones, but then the whole Zen/Zenyatta mistake thing would've been near impossible to stage, so unfortunately now no matter which member of Overwatch is talking Hana's name appears in the chatlog. Guess you'll just have to pay attention to who picks the phone up preceding the chatlog! Sorry! >_

 

~Jaehee has entered the chatroom~

~Hana has entered the chatroom~  
  
---  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

...Ah, Hana-nim, you are online.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Yup. I do that sometimes.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

You were silent for so many days, I was afraid you did not wish to speak with us any longer.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Haha nah, I told you, y’all can’t expect to see me here 24/7! I’m a busy person.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

Well, since you seem to be in a good mood, there is something I would like to tell you...  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Oh good, cos I have news for you too.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

Oh? What is it?  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Nah, you first.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

….If you insist. Listen, Hana-nim, I wanted to apologise for getting off on the wrong foot with you. Perhaps Mr Han is right, I lack tact. I hope you will forgive me and not allow your time with us to be negatively coloured by my inadequacies.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Haha, yeah, well, I’m glad you feel that way, ‘cos past-you would NOT like the news I’m about to drop on you. Your organisation just got a whoooole lot bigger.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

Uh..sorry? I’m afraid I don’t understand.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Well, like I said, I’m a busy person. Sometimes I’ll be off at training or missions and such, I won’t be online for days, your guests may get impatient, etc etc. By myself, I won’t be able to rope in guests as well as your “Rika” did. Wouldn’t be much of a party, would it. But you guys seemed so hyped up about having parties again, I didn’t like to disappoint you. So what happened is that I’ve recruited all my friends in Overwatch to help rope in guests as well.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

What?!?  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Of course, that means they’ll also be using the chatroom and messaging systems to talk to you guys as well. Gotta, you know, make sure everyone’s on the same page. So that we don’t end up ordering too much or too little food, or booking a grossly oversized venue, that sort of thing.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

WHAT?!?!?!  
  
**Hana:**

| 

On the bright side, you’ve already got about 10 confirmed guests. Food-wise, make that 12, McDonalds and Reinhardt can both eat for 2.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

WHAT!?!!!?!??!!?!  
  
~Jumin has entered the chatroom~  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Assistant Kang, you are here. You did not answer your phone when I called. I wanted to speak with you about Elizabeth 3rd. She has been shedding 9-23 strands of hair per minute since she got back from your place, a two-to-threefold increase of her average of 3-17. Were there any stressful factors at your house? A strange cat she might have seen, perhaps?  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

Mr Han!! I - There’s -    
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Ah, yes, of course, Ms Hana is online. Where are my manners. It is good to see you, Ms Hana.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Yep, hi! Too bad I have to leave again so soon. Winston’s going to show me how to use the upgrades he put into my MEKA, and then afterwards me and Lena and Dr Ziegler are gonna drag McDonalds out ~clothes shopping~! Seriously, he wanted to turn up in that ratty red blanket of his. I bet on his deathbed he’s gonna say he wants to be buried in it. Anyway, gotta dash, sooooooo, just read whatever I wrote up there, and then you can fill the rest of them in! Bye!  
  
~Hana has left the chatroom~  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

She left. A pity.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

Mr Han!!! I -  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Yes, Assistant Kang. You were going to tell me what could have disturbed my poor Elizabeth so?  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

I - no!! There’s something more important you need to know right away!!  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Important? What could possibly be more important than my dear Elizabeth’s welfare?  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

THIS. Hana says that she’s given ALL HER OVERWATCH FRIENDS access to our chatroom! This is an unprecedented breach of security! We have to inform V at once and get 707 to remove her from the chatroom!!  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

...Assistant Kang, could it be that you are jealous of Ms Hana? Ever since she joined the RFA, ZEN has not been able to speak of anything else. Furthermore, you were against her from the beginning. Is this your way of trying to get rid of her?  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

THIS. HAS. NOTHING. TO. DO. WITH. ZEN. IT’S THE TRUTH!! She said so herself, she told you to read what she said above!!  
  
~Hana has entered the chatroom~  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

Or better yet, ask her yourself!!  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Ms Hana, you are back. How opportune. I would like to take this chance to clarify with you a matter that Assistant Kang has brought to my attention.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Ms Hana? ...Oh, you mean Dee! No, I’m not her. She’s gone to training. I’m Lucio. It’s kinda weird messaging under Dee’s name, but we decided that it wasn’t worth blowing up everyone’s phones with notifs. Am super STOKED for the party btw, when’s it going to be???  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

SEE?!?!!  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

….I see. Perhaps Ms Hana was not as trustworthy as I thought.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Okay, now look here -  
  
~707 has entered the chatroom~  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

707!! Thank goodness, just in time!!  
  
**707:**

| 

YES, GOD SEVEN IS HERE. WHAT DOES MY HUMBLE WORSHIPPER WISH OF ME TODAY?  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

Seven, this is serious!! Hana has allowed the rest of her Overwatch friends to access our chatroom!  
  
**707:**

| 

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat???  
  
**Hana:**

| 

….If I could just get a word in edgeways…..  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

The app is still only on her phone! We can still contain this! You have to shut it down now!!!  
  
**707:**

| 

O M G OKAY GOD SEVEN IS ON IT!! BEEP BEEP!! SEVEN AWAYYY  
  
~707 has left the chatroom~  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Uh, yeah, about that -  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Lucio, is it? I apologise for this, but you really must understand that you leave us no choice. We cannot allow our classified information to be compromised. Please give Ms Hana my regards.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

….and the good doctor thinks _I_ have a motor mouth. Boy do I have news for her.  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

The good doctor…? Never mind, it is unimportant. 707 will finish his work soon, and then this will cease to matter.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Wait for it….  
  
~707 has entered the chatroom~  
  
**707:**

| 

I HAVE TERRIBLE NEWS. THERE’S SOME KIND OF ROTATING CLEARTEXT ENCRYPTION PROTECTING THE NETWORK HANA’S PHONE IS USING RIGHT NOW SO I CAN’T ACCESS HER PHONE.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

WhAT?!?!  
  
**Hana:**

| 

…...there you go.  
  
**707:**

| 

How can this BEEEEE!!!! HOW COULD GOD SEVEN BE BEATEN?!?!?! ALAS!!! DOOM!! GLOOM!! AND DESPAIRR!!!  
  
**Hana:**

| 

If you’ll just listen to me for a second -  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Luciel, is there no other way?  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Wait, what?  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

No, Luciel, not you. 707’s baptismal name is Luciel.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

Mr Han?!?! Are you sure it is a good idea to give such information out openly at a time like this??  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Given that our genius hacker apparently can’t break into their firewall, I hardly think it matters at this point.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Well at least someone is finally seeing sense around here! Ready to listen??  
  
**707:**

| 

I AM A FAILURREEEEEEEE sob sob sob  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

...Well, Mr - or Miss…?  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Mr. But Lucio will do just fine.  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Mr Lucio. Yes, well, I don’t see that we have any choice now, do we?  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Damn straight you don’t! God, Dee wasn’t kidding when she said you guys were insufferable.  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

I beg your pardon?  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Right, you guys have just got your heads stuffed so far up your own ass, that you, that, uh - well, I don’t know, but if Eastwood were here, he’d have an appropriate saying for it. You got some nerve accusing us of tryna steal your “classified information” when so far you’re the ones who’ve been doing all the hacking.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

...“Classified information”. Pft, don’t make me laugh. You seriously think Overwatch spent all this money and training in order to spy on a buncha civs?! If anything, we should be suspicious of you, since your app popped up mysteriously on Dee’s phone!  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

...Yes, I believe we have had this conversation with Ms Hana already.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

But we made nice with you guys, ‘cos she said you were harmless! We just wanted to help out with the party. But then you gotta rag on us like that. I’m so disappointed. SO disappointed.  
  
**707:**

| 

>_< waow...is everyone in Overwatch this scary? T__T  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Only when you mess with us! Except the light lady. Vaswani got NO chill. Oh yeah, and that reminds me. I heard you guys tried to threaten Dee.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

That really wasn’t our inten-  
  
**Hana:**

| 

I haven’t finished! Now, as laughable as your attempts to threaten her are, don’t even think for a second that that makes it okay. Dee don’t like people messin’ around in her business, but when she ain’t around to hear about it, all bets are off. She’s like the daughter that Eastwood never had, the granddaughter that the ol’ German Tin Can never had, and you’d better believe that if they hear about you treating their precious princess like shit again, they’re all gonna come down on you like - like a - like judgment on a sinna’, as Eastwood would say. ….I would, too, ‘cept I’m not much in the way of fighting. I’m more of a medic, which would kinda defeat the purpose. Maybe I could blast some beats to make y’all nauseous. Yeah. That’d work.  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

...  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

...  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Oh yeah, I’m done.  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Am I to understand from this that you will be removing the app from your colleague’s phone and leaving this chatroom immediately?  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Heck no! We still gotta come to the party! It’s all anyone can talk about. Plus we wanna meet whoever managed to create an app that installs itself automatically into people’s phones. Could be a new recruit for Overwatch! We’re gonna need all the help we can get against Talon.  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

The….party?  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Yeah, the party. Dee said you guys wanted her help in organising a party with this app.  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Ah. I am afraid there must have been a misunderstanding...  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Oh, god, not again -  
  
~V has entered the chatroom~  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

V. As always, you have impeccable timing.  
  
**V:**

| 

I was summoned here by 707. He said that my presence was urgently required to facilitate the adjudication of an important matter.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Whoa - is that a picture of you?! Do you have GREEN HAIR?? Oh man, Genji gonna lose his shit!!  
  
**V:**

| 

….Hana…? Is that…?  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Yes. Or rather, it is one of Ms Hana’s friends, who goes by the name of Mr Lucio. No doubt 707 has filled you in on the circumstances through which this arises.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Dude, I do NOT call myself “Mr” Lucio. I told you just Lucio’s fine! You’re the one who appended the Mr to the front.  
  
**V:**

| 

...I see. Lucio, welcome.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Welcome?!?! Well, that’s a first. You’re more polite than any of these guys.  
  
**V:**

| 

As I understand, Jumin, the issue of approving their membership status is already out of our hands. So what is there that remains to be discussed?  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Yes, well, Mr Lucio here seems to be under the impression that we are having a party. There appears to have been some miscommunication. We _used_ to use this app to organise parties, but there is absolutely no intention to hold one at present.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Boo, party-pooper! Mr Boss Guy, you tell him!  
  
**V:**

| 

Lucio, Jumin is right. When Ms Hana joined, we had no intentions of hosting a party. Perhaps she misunderstood what Jumin and the others were trying to tell her.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Aww, shit, really??  
  
**V:**

| 

However, there is no reason why we can’t decide to hold one now...  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

Wait, what??  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

...V, you cannot be serious...  
  
**707:**

| 

Whoaaa, really???  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Aw yeahh, Boss Man knows where it’s at! Gimme five!  
  
**V:**

| 

I am. Jumin, perhaps this is fate. Haven’t you all been bemoaning for the longest time that ever since Rika left, the RFA has practically become defunct?  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

That’s...  
  
**V:**

| 

Lucio’s enthusiasm gives me confidence that they will be more than adept at convincing guests to attend. Besides, I have heard of this Overwatch. For better or for worse, they have an international reputation. No doubt many people will be attracted to come. I think - I think - maybe this is what Rika would have wanted.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

I don’t know who this Rika person is, but I agree with you, Boss Man! The party don’t start till Overwatch is in the house!  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Well, V, if you’re sure, I trust you...  
  
**707:**

| 

I will follow whatever V decides. T__T I am V’s slave. *_*  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

….Yoosung is going to make so much noise over this...  
  
**V:**

| 

It’s decided then. We will host another party very soon.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

ALRIGHT!!! PARTAYYYY!!!  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

Wait!! V, sorry, but - when??  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

We can't invite guests without knowing the date...  
  
**V:**

| 

It is Ms Hana and Mr Lucio’s first party, after all -  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Hey, don’t forget the rest of our friends too!  
  
**V:**

| 

And the rest of their friends’. I shall have to think of a suitable time frame in which we can hold the party. We should not have it too soon, as they will need time to get familiar with all of you. But neither should we hold it too late, lest everyone's enthusiasm die off.  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

….If you say so, V.  
  
**V:**

| 

….I don’t wish to seem as though I am some kind of dictator, issuing commands which you all follow, regardless of whether you agree with them or not. If there are any objections, please do inform me.  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

V, we know that you always have RFA’s best interests at heart.  
  
**V:**

| 

Heh, well, I don’t think Yoosung sees it that way.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Heh, I don’t know who this Yoosung is, but if he ain’t down with the party then he’s a peach!  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Watch your words, Mr Lucio. Just as you warned us to treat Ms Hana with respect, we too do not tolerate slander against our own.  
  
**V:**

| 

Jumin, please. Now that they have joined RFA, we are all one family. There is no need to draw the line between us and them.  
  
**707:**

| 

LOL JUMIN. To be fair, though, Yoosung is really dumb, and fun to tease. He falls for literally everything. Remind me to tell you about the time national Korean milk sales increased by 2% because Yoosung thought he was dying from drinking too much coffee.  
  
**Jaehee:**

| 

...As I recall, YOU made him think that.  
  
**707:**

| 

I never said I didn’t!  
  
**V:**

| 

I shall have to leave very soon. I am going to a place where the connection is very bad. I will be back in a few days to inform you all of the date of the party.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Uhh, so we’re really all cool, right? No more “oh my goodness intruder ahhh get out get out we ain’t having no party” stuff, yeah? Cos like, and this ain’t a threat, I’m just sayin’ it like it is, if you freak out at like, say, Eastwood, for example, he ain’t just gonna yell at you through the screen like I do, he gon’ hop on a train all the way to wherever it is you are and blow you away with his Deadeye. So, for your own sakes, we cool? No more freaking out if the rest of us come in here, okay?  
  
**V:**

| 

Understood. Jumin, 707, please inform Yoosung and ZEN.  
  
**707:**

| 

YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND, LORD V. SPEAK AND IT SHALL BE DONE.  
  
**Jumin:**

| 

Understood, V. Take care of yourself. I look forward to seeing you at the party.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Aight, guys, spent too much time talking. Gotta dash! Good to know that we chill. Lucio, peace out!  
  
~Hana has left the chatroom~  
  
 

~~~

 

It’s honestly hard to tell who looks more gloomy, D.Va or McCree. “I miss my phone already,” sniffs D.Va, kicking at a stone on the pavement. “Why are Lucio’s spare phones all so retro?! An Iphone 7 is the newest he has, seriously??”

 

“Please, looking like you’re carrying Reinhardt’s phone is nothing compared to the _horror_ that awaits me,” grumbles McCree.

 

Keeping in stride with him, Mercy shoots him an unamused look. “Clothes shopping is not a _horror_ , Jesse. You can’t possibly attend the party in your ragged old hat and serape.”

 

“And whyever not?!” whines the gunslinger.

 

Mercy gives him the familiar exasperated look he’s seen countless times before when she’s patching him up in the medbay after some stupid heroics or other. “You’ve been wearing that since the day you joined Overwatch! I remember the hours I took to patch you up after Gabe’s “persuasion”, and cleaning your tatty cloak took twice that time!”

 

D.Va giggles. McCree definitely looks more gloomy.

 

~~~

 

Genji is restless. He’s been looking forward to having meditation sessions with his mentor again after he returned from a mission in Hanamura with his brother, but Zenyatta is nowhere to be found, even though they were supposed to meet up nearly an hour ago. The green cyborg ninja dude paces up and down the lounge, metallic heels clicking on the polished marble floor. _Patience, patience_ , he tries to tell himself, but he can still feel his circuits overheating. Funny how he’s now cool with the brother who mauled him within an inch of his life but he can still get annoyed when people show up late to appointments.

 

_Beep. Beep. Beepbeepbeepbeepbeep_

 

Ah, yes, it’s the phone. Genji noticed it as soon as he walked into the room. It’s in a little plastic box on top of the games shelf, with a piece of masking tape sloppily stuck to it, the word “PARTY” printed in large black letters on it. The phone itself is white, nondescript. There is no cover, but Genji surmises that it must have recently been removed, since the screen is worn and weathered, with a small crack in the top left corner, but the rest of the phone is pristine, without a single scratch or speck of dust on it. Why on earth it is there, Genji has no idea. Probably someone was transporting party supplies and forgot their phone in this box?

 

 _Beep. Beep. Beep. beep beep beep._ The phone continues to beep.

 

Genji stops mid-loop and regards the phone doubtfully. Underneath his helmet, he chews his bottom lip indecisively. He may be loud, easygoing, lackadaisical, rude at times, but he definitely does not think of himself as the kind of guy who would pry into someone else’s phone.

_Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep_

 

On the other hand, it has been buzzing on and off for the last 20 minutes. Perhaps the owner is calling to locate it, or someone has urgent need of the owner.

 

_Beep beep beep beep beep_

 

Genji looks at the phone screen. 153 new messages?! Ah, screw it. Fortunately for whoever this phone belongs to, it doesn’t have a password lock. Time to see what all that fuss is about.

 

~~~

 

**Hana:**

| 

Hello. Who left their phone in the rec room?  
  
---|---  
  
~ZEN has entered the chatroom~  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

Oh, you’re here! Hey cutie! <3 I was so worried that you wouldn’t come back after Jumin told us about all that bullshit that happened just now. Don’t worry sweetie, I called him and gave him a piece of my mind ;) Just ignore him, he doesn’t know how to talk to girls. You just tell Zenny if the others are bullying you, and I’ll straighten them out in no time! xoxo  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Uh - WOW, wait, what? Master? Is that you? Who’s Jumin?  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

Wait, don’t you know who Jumin is? Aren’t you Hana-chan?  
  
**Hana:**

| 

WOW. “HANA-CHAN”?!?! WOW. Master, I am happy for you, and forgive me for poking my nose where it doesn’t belong, but I _really_ don’t think Aniki would appreciate that!  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

HAHAHA, oh, Hana-chan likes to be called Aniki? I’ll keep that in mind ;)  
  
**Hana:**

| 

By me, yes. By you - ah, heck, if you’re already that familiar with each other who am I to judge? It’s been long since we had a heart-to-heart. You probably know Aniki better than I do, now.  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

Awww, you were friends with Hana-chan? Did something happen between the two of you? :’(  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Siblings, actually, but - Master, you KNOW this!! What’s going on!!  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

HAHAHAHA!! Oh my, aren’t you cute ^u^ There’s no need to call me Master, dear. You can call me Zenny. ;) Also, wow, I wouldn’t have known you and Hana-chan were siblings! You seem so different!  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Yeah, well, we get that a lot.  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

You’re so polite and formal, but Hana-chan is so boisterous and loud.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Holy shit, you HAVE gotten close with Aniki. Usually people say it’s the other way around. Do you know, I’m actually a little jealous >_<  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

What can I say? It’s just my natural charm ;) But don’t worry sweetie, I’ll still spend plenty of time with you, if you like.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Uh, yeah, well, don’t worry about me, Master - er, Zenny. God, I can’t get used to calling you that. Anyway, you’ve done so much for me already, I think it’s time you pursued your own happiness as well. If Aniki is what makes you happy, I will stand behind you every step of the way. To see my master and my last remaining family member happy would be the greatest joy of my life.….Well, maybe second greatest. Kintaro-moshi’s ramen just can’t be beat.  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

Aww, man, you’re making me blush. You speak so highly of me, but all I did was talk to you for a bit! I feel bad now.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

You are too modest, Master - uh, Zenny. God, this is gonna take some getting used to.  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

Hahahahaha! Oh, you’re so cute. If it makes you that uncomfortable, just Zen will do.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

….Zen. Yes, thank you, that is better, though it still feels much lacking in the respect that I should show you. After all, I do owe much to you.  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

Hahahaha! Oh man, I can’t accept such high praise for simply talking to you! Hey, tell you what, how about this. Why don’t you tell me more about Hana-chan, and then you can stop calling me Master.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

-_- Aren’t you already super chummy with Aniki? “Hana-chan” - seriously….What more could I tell you that you don’t already know?  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

Well, to be quite honest with you, I’m kinda getting mixed signals here. Sometimes Hana-chan can be real snarky, other times real friendly, but never really open about personal stuff. I thought I knew everything there was to know from watching all the fights, but after having a chat in person - WOW. Turns out there’s quite a lot I don’t know after all.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Pfft, don’t worry about it, Aniki gets like that sometimes. There was one time at this ramen place, and the waitress was really cute -  
  
 

~~~

 

“Ow!! Fuck, oww!!” McCree cringes and squirms as a very unamused milliner tries to pin the heavy fabric draped over his shoulders to form a sleeve, much to D.Va’s amusement. “Careful where you’re sticking those needles, lady!”

 

“I am,” retorts the exasperated milliner. “This would be a lot easier if you would just stop MOVING AROUND.”

 

“I’m moving around because you’re sticking PINS in me!” growls McCree.

 

“And the pins are getting stuck in you BECAUSE you’re moving around!”

 

McCree buries his face in his hands, the movement coming unluckily at just the moment the milliner decides to push another pin into place - and miss. “OWW!! Oh God, when will this be over?”

 

Sitting on the counter, swinging her legs, D.Va grins. The day is looking up already. “Hey, McDonalds, how come you can get punched and kicked and shot at in battles and not utter a sound, but you can’t deal with a few lousy needles?”

 

“A question for the ages. Perhaps one day, some scientist in the future will figure it out and win a Nobel Prize.” Dr. Ziegler’s smile is half affection, half condescension. “He’s always been like that. I remember the day Gabriel dragged him into my medbay. Bruised, bleeding, broken bones and missing teeth, but Gabe said he didn’t hear a sound out of him, not for 3 days straight. Nor did I, all the while I worked on him - up until the end, when I tried to give him the standard vaccinations new agents get.” Dr. Ziegler puts a hand to her forehead and stage-swoons into a chuckling D.Va’s arms. “‘Ahh - ahhhh, ma’am, can ye - can ye mebbe put me to sleep before ye do tha’?”

 

The English language has not yet invented a word that can adequately describe McCree’s expression upon hearing this extremely flanderized impression of himself. It looks something between annoyance, incredulity and horror. “That is the WORST impression of myself I have EVER heard.”

 

His protests fall on deaf ears. D.Va is laughing way too hard to notice. Dr. Ziegler ignores him and continues to to re-enact their first meeting. “But….I just set your broken arm without anaesthesia and you didn’t complain.” She covers her eyes with her hands and struggles not to smile while struggling to maintain her absolutely terrible impression of McCree’s accent. “”Yeah, w-well, ma’am, if it’s all the same to ye…”

 

McCree splutters with indignation. “Tha’s not how I sound, tha’s how _Tracer_ sounds!!” But no one is listening to him. D.Va is rolling on the floor with laughter. She is positively _howling_. McCree thinks he’s never heard her make such a sound before. Dr. Ziegler is clearly smiling now, even as she continues her pantomime of 17-year-old McCree. Even the milliner is laughing now. At least she isn’t sticking needles in him, now. McCree watches them all with the most unamused expression on his face. “Any time you’re done, ladies.”

 

Finally Dr. Ziegler herself succumbs to the humour and cracks up, doubling over and wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. She pats a very grumpy McCree on the shoulder. “Sorry, Jesse, but it’s just too funny.”

 

Still chortling, D.Va grabs a mannequin for support as she tries to pull herself into an upright position. “It sure is! Oh man, I can’t wait to tell them all at the party!”

 

Mercy grins mischievously, a most uncharacteristic expression to be seen on her angelic face. “Yes, the party! It’s going to be such fun. Most of the old guard know already, of course, but it will be most amusing to see the faces of our new friends when they learn!” Her face quickly creases into its usual concerned expression. “I wonder if our friends are having any trouble with the organisation?”

 

“Pfft,” D.Va scoffs. “It’s just planning a party, how wrong could anything possibly go?”

 

~~~

 

**ZEN:**

| 

HAHAHAHA! Oh man, your stories are so hilarious! I think I’m the jealous one now.  
  
---|---  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Well, if you like, I think I can help you confess. Aniki owes me BIG, now, anyway, so I think he’ll listen.  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

Oh man, would you!! But then that goes beyond our original agreement. I’ll owe you, then.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

Well, if you help Aniki get over himself and reconcile with me, then you’ll have more than repaid the favour. I’ll probably even have to start calling you Master again.  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

Hahahaha! Omg, okay, but fair warning, I’m not sure if I can pull that off.  
  
**Hana:**

| 

I have faith in you, Master - uh, Zen. You have helped me through much pain.  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

Awww, well, if I’ve got you cheering for me, I’m sure I can do it!  
  
**Hana:**

| 

So we are agreed, then?  
  
**ZEN:**

| 

Yeah, sure thing! I’ll be looking forward to your good news!!  
  
**Hana:**

| 

And I in turn will be waiting for yours.  
  
 

~~~

 

The shopping party returns from their expedition to find the Overwatch headquarters in ruins.  Many windows are broken, and the roof has caved in in some places, leaving only the cross beams attached, and even then only a few of them. Plaster, glass and rubble tumble in the breeze along with stray leaves. In some places, the walls have been stripped down to their electrical wiring and pipelines. Through the holes in the buildings, the sounds of breaking glass and crashing metal and angry shouts in various languages float out on the wind.

 

It takes 3 hours to calm the Shimada brothers and their dragons down, 4 more to repair the damage, and the rest of the night to explain to Genji that D.Va is “Hana-chan”, and Zen the Korean singer is not the same as Zenyatta the omnic monk.


End file.
